Christmas Crackers by Various

A torch flickered, deep in the Valley of Kings,
"I see", whispered Carter, "oh, wonderful things!"
"Do you think," gasped Carnarvon, "It's Tutankhamun?"
Then it sat up and leered: it was... Mrs. RAVOON.

Below the salt Channel they're drinking champagne
And ministers jostle to board the first train.
Emergency bells ring in French and Walloon,
For there on the buffers squats... Mrs. RAVOON.